@T: ALWAYS THE TWAIN

The last two days have seen the announcements of MSFT’s new Bing search platform as well as the to-be-launched Google Wave:

TechCrunch’s MG Siegler decided to make a joke out of MSFT’s choice of brand name:

http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/05/28/the-bing-definition-microsoft-probably-doesnt-want-you-to-get-in-your-fortune-cookie/

and this has been followed by all manner of inaccurate (but quite amusing) threads by people attempting to translate and discern what the word “bing” means. According to the TC post it’s “death”.

Fortunately, one commentator does note:

“According to Dr. Qi Lu, who thought about going back to live in his native China before accepting Steve Ballmer’s offer to head up Microsoft’s search effort, Bing means something a little more positive in Chinese:

“Bing” also resonates with an audience Google is yet to dominate: China.

“The actual Chinese characters are two characters, ‘Bi’ and ‘Ying’ and combined these two characters mean ‘very certain to respond’ and ‘very certain to answer’,” Dr Lu said.

“That’s a terrific representation of what our brand stands for in the Chinese language.””

For me, MSFT marketing has made the mistake of thinking they can compound two Chinese characters 必 应 “bi-ying” and anglicize them into BING — as in Chandler Bing from Friends and the Soprano’s “bada bing” — and not double-checking whether the hybrid loses something in the re-translation. One of the homophonic translations of “bing” is indeed “disease”. However there are the other translations; it all depends on the tone for the letter i in the word. Like the French language, Chinese has acute, grave, bass and double acute accents (ì, í,  ī, etc.). The difference is that in French the accents are used purely for pronunciation assistance whilst in Chinese the accent completely determines the word, its pronunciation tones and its meanings.

Here are some possible meanings for “bing”:

http://www.nciku.com/search/all/pinyin/bing

Incidentally, a TC commentator provided the link to translations for “ping” instead of “ding” (and this is why our brain cells are dying and academic research says we’re only using 10 percent of our intelligence — LOL!).

Instead of jumping straight to the “disease” translation, TC’s journalist could have opted for the version of bing which means “ice” and “consult” so the word’s English connotations with search would be “cool consult”.

As for the commentator on that TC thread who says Google’s Wave in Chinese sounds and translates as “death” 危 ……….NOWHERE does that word appear on nciku online for the Chinese translation of “wave”:

http://www.nciku.com/search/all/wave

Actually the only constituents of the character for “wave”, 波浪 are: water, ball and cool. This is appropriate since waves in Chinese are envisioned as ball curls over cool water, so Google’s WAVE loses less kinetic energy and power in translation than MSFT’s BING, that’s for sure.

Also, as you can see in my explanations, Chinese people think poetically, harmonically and in natural Zen because it’s incorporated in the structure of our language (written characters, homophonic pronunciations and radicals replacements etc.) itself!

Anyone lucky enough to be multi-lingual would fall about laughing all the time at the intentional and unintentional double entendres and lost in translations of all sorts of brand names and other popular terms. Previously, I’ve tried to explain that a bridegroom was getting “cold feet” to my mother — not to marrying me, btw, but in the US comedy film, The Bachelor. She said the guy should simply put on some socks!!!

That’s an example of lost in translation……….LOL.

Tonight we’re all going to be at my mother’s for dinner and to watch the final of Britain’s Got Talent, the “search for a star” variety-reality brainchild of Simon Cowell, who also acts as lead judge. My mother adores Simon Cowell and his pronouncements, btw. The Brits affectionately see him as some sort of pantomime villain, the Americans are simultaneously appalled and in awe of his forthrightness (and what the Brits regard as his lack of sickly faux La-La-Land simpering of the ilk: “I really FEEEEEL you, bro’. You’re SO awesome!”), and as for us Chinese………..well, he uses direct pragmatic language and the Chinese mentality is fairly direct and pragmatic (with flourishes of soaring poetic/euphemistic OTT ostentation — please see Opening Ceremony of 2008 Beijing Olympics and films directed by Zhang Yimou), so we sort of “get” Simon. Someone has to — LOL.

My mother and I would like Aidan Davis, the 12-year-old freestyle dancer, to win. As well as the natural fluidity, infectious energy and sheer charisma with which he performs, his choreography skills are sublime and show fantastic, cheeky wit.

However, the bookies and the buzz say that the Scottish Susan Boyle (dubbed the “Hairy Angel” by the media) and Shaheen Jafargholi, the 12-year-old singer from Wales, are favorites for tonight. It’s universally known by now that Susan has captured the imagination and affection of YouTubers, Twitterers, Oprah followers and anyone in the world who believes we shouldn’t judge books by their covers. Talent and character should matter rather than looks and attire. She’s a bona fide Internet viral sensation with view counts higher than President Obama’s inauguration ceremony, Super Bowl stand-offs and ‘Web 2.0: the machine is us/ing us” by the superlative Dr. Michael Wensch:

So, yes, Susan and we are the slaves and masters of the system………..

For me, her rendition of ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ was moving, evocative, expansive and technically flawless so if she sings at this level in the final, there’s every chance she’ll win:

Equally, Shaheen deserves his status as a favorite because his young voice has superb depth, range, power and control:

Plus he shows admirable, mature professionalism for someone so young.

In terms of seriously intelligent interpretation of their tools (musical instrument, music, cool and body parts), Julian Smith the saxophonist and Diversity the street dance troupe are amazing and deserve to do really well too.

Diversity’s incorporation of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” quote, the theme from Chariots of Fire and a dance sequence reminiscent of Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation was simply a genius piece of choreography and execution, and it proves that youngsters are not all about gun/knife crime, social disruption or dead-end nihilism. They’re also about wonder, creativity, collaboration and chasing dreams.

It just feels so great when people’s talents shine through and makes us go, “WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and “WOW!!!!!!!!!” again at the audacity and variety of individual and collective genius.

The standard is so high in this final that whoever does get to perform at the Royal Variety Show will be a worthy winner and all of the finalists’ families should be extremely proud of them and cheer the house down on their behalves!

On a less positive note, the British media are already whipping up a storm of cynicism with this type of content in the papers and online:

· Is the show about exploitation / opportunity for the contestants?

· Should Susan Boyle be given preferential treatment and is she about to crack under the spotlight?

· Is it all a “fix”, designed to make Simon and the producers even more money?

· Why’s the show not providing enough emotional support for contestants, particularly the younger ones (the youngest child is 10)?

· Will some of them be forgotten within six months and find that fame is a fleeting and cruel mistress?

Personally, I just want to wish the finalists “Best of luck! Break a leg! Enjoy yourselves!” in the pursuit of their dreams and I’m looking forward to being amazed by their talent. Talent should be proactively sought, nurtured and celebrated, imo — whether that’s on a family entertainment TV show or in a high-pressure corporate environment or within our own social circles. We should all have the magnanimity of spirit and the grace of intelligence to embrace and congratulate whatever natural talents we have ourselves and discover in others.

Talent in any shape or form means the human species is……….SUPER-DUPER COOL, and gives us reasons to be optimistic and hopeful about our survival prospects.

TWAIN’S ALTERNATE / PARALLEL UNIVERSE OF TALENT APPLICATION

Some of you reading this blog will be a wee bit confused and may wonder why someone like me is into a populist light entertainment show like Britain’s Got Talent. Its search for talent is undeniably a million miles away from the search of Google, Wolfram Alpha, cures for cancer, profitable Internet models, the meaning and purpose of our existence, as-yet unanswered queries on the presence of other beings in our Universe, etc. To some, BGT’s search may be considered shallow since it leads to celebrity whilst the other form of search requires more intellectual depth and, hopefully, leads to disruptive evolution.

Well, my perspective is different on what is shallow / worthwhile. Whilst we watch the show, I’ll be teasing my mother and LOL-ing.

I’ll remind her that if she hadn’t emphasized education so much I wouldn’t be the first female in my family (on both sides) to go to university and I certainly wouldn’t be interested in the Global Brain, technology, high finance, business models, scientific exploration, cultural complexities and commonalities or great thinkers. Instead, I’d be onscreen as some sort of entertainer/media fodder, earning astronomical fees à la JLo for wearing sparkly dresses and turning up to “events”, and be paparazzi-ed everywhere I went! I may even be a D.I.V.A. — LOL.

This isn’t as preposterous, delusional or megalomaniacal as it sounds and I do have some sense of what the BGT contestants are experiencing.

As a child, I separately passed the singing and dance auditions to perform at the Opening Ceremony of the Commonwealth Games and I chose to dance — which meant I got to spend at least two afternoons away from school lessons, to perfect the routine for the big day; a wonderful experience for any kid and a period of my life which taught me a lot. At the time, I was having dance lessons some evenings, taking part in poetry recital/chess competitions (which I often won), learning the piano and the flute, doing athletics training other evenings (I was captain of our 4X100m relay team, competed in the 110m hurdles and we came 2^nd in the regional championships) and getting the top marks at school (English and Chinese).

Yup, I had far too much energy as a child (I wanted to know and be able to “DO EVERYTHING!”) so my mother wisely decided it should be channeled properly instead of me running amok and wild — LOL. All that extra-curricular training has stood me in good stead because people now remark that I’m “objective-oriented / focused / creative / systematic / collaborative / multi-disciplinary” in my problem-solving. That’s the by-product of having it drilled into me that “practice makes perfect”, “gain is the result of occasional pain” and the “cross application of teamwork equals maybe winning”.

So in a parallel universe “I coulda been a contender!” as Brando said in his seminal role (On The Waterfront).

In any case, it probably is for the better that my parents encouraged us towards education because it means I can contribute to “The Global Brain” etc and perhaps, in my own nano-entity way, catalyze or move civilization and concepts forward:

Besides which, we don’t have to be entertainers to wear sparkly dresses, glitter and killer stilettos………Ha ha.

[Oh and if you follow the symmetry of Wensch's masterpiece with how the Internet and, particularly, YouTube is making Susan Boyle and the other BGT contestants stars..............You'll appreciate this blog post does twain; we just married populism with intellectualism --- LOL infinity.]

BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT: THE RESULTS

The show ended at 20:25GMT with the results announced at 21:30GMT. At about 20:30GMT I gave my preference of how much I enjoyed each performance:

(1.) Diversity.

(2.) Susan Boyle.

(3.) Aidan Davis.

The result was:

(1.) Diversity.

(2.) Susan Boyle.

(3.) Julian Smith.

The dance group really deserved to win. Their routine was technically on-the-ball, imaginative and distinctive — fusing in knowing cheek with big-set acrobatics and superb music editing. Here’s hoping they’ll get the opportunity to open the 2012 London Olympics!

Go DIVERSITY!